Tonight, the topic will be on “Purging”. What is purging? In crossdressing terms, it means to get rid of all your feminine possessions by simply throwing them out in an attempt to be ‘normal’ again – only to find, months later, you are out shopping and secretly crossdressing again.

I found a site that addresses problems crossdressers run into:

This is what the site states about purging:

Guilt-based purging is ineffective because it denies the attraction of crossdressing. To stop crossdressing, a crossdresser needs to believe that he will experience more happiness by *not* crossdressing. Only then will he desire to stop.

Most crossdressers know about purging, when a crossdresser, feeling guilty, throws out all his female clothes, wigs, makeup, etc.

While a common thing, crossdressers also generally say that purging doesn’t work–eventually the urge returns, and one ends up buying new female things. It becomes an expensive exercise in futility.

Economics aside, I think there is good reason to be skeptical about purging. In fact, I think it is an inherently ineffective way to stop crossdressing.

For one thing, if you oppose a habit like crossdressing with a lot of energy, it seems like the habit can take that energy and become stronger. I don’t understand the exact dynamics, but it does seem to work like that.

But more fundamentally, purging evades the root cause of crossdressing.

Crossdressing is done because it feels good. It is a rational choice. The crossdresser asks: Is the pleasure of crossdressing worth (a) the monetary cost, (b) the risk of embarrassment, and (c) the occasional guilt?

And the answer is a resounding YES! The pleasure is worth it. That is what is goes on in the crossdresser’s mind.

Purging denies this rational choice aspect. It merely tries to veto the choice by ultimatum: Never mind what you want, it’s wrong and that’s that!

That is bound to backfire because it denies that crossdressing was determined by our “self-interest calculus” to be good. Purging is basically a lie, with the crossdresser saying “I will not do what in fact I really want to do.”

To be honest, when I did a major purge, I still felt like I wanted to, and would, return to crossdressing. The feelings were too sublime to abandon. I was still attached to it.

I felt guilt, so I purged and ceased the behavior, but by no means let go of the desire. So it was inevitable that after a while I would resume crossdressing.

The binge-purge cycle could last for years, and as the article above states, is a very costly cycle at that!

Usually though, the crossdressing cycle results in this: Denial, Expression, Guilt, Purging

So what makes one purge to the point you throw away those expensive high heel shoes, or that beautiful prada dress?

How to stop, how to accept yourself and mostly, be aware of what makes you purge in the first place will all be discussed in tonight’s hosted chat with Me and Ms Carmen in the feminization chat room over at at 8 pm EST.

Be there! (And be Dressed!) xoxox – Ms Cecilia