That’s right – you heard Me – tonight at 8 pm EST, we will be discussing the first time you were tempted to slip on a pair of panties, those stockings, that skirt and we will explore why crossdressers love to dress.
I have found, over the years of being a Mistress and talking with crossdressers all over the world, that once you are tempted to wear women’s clothing – it never goes away. In fact, it just gets stronger as time goes on!
Here is a picture of Steph Marie in her beautiful gown:
So what is crossdressing? And why do people do it?
Wikipedia.com defines crossdressing as:
Nearly every human society throughout history has distinguished between male and female gender by the style, color, or type of clothing they wear and has had a set of norms, views, guidelines, or even laws defining what type of clothing is appropriate for each gender. Cross-dressing is a behavior which runs significantly counter to those norms and therefore can be seen as a type of transgender behavior. It does not, however, necessarily indicate transgender identity; a person who cross-dresses does not always identify as having a gender different from that assigned at birth.
The term cross-dressing denotes an action or a behavior without attributing or proposing causes for that behavior. Some people automatically connect cross-dressing behavior to transgender identity or sexual, fetishist, and homosexual behavior, but the term cross-dressing itself does not imply any motives. However, referring to a person as a cross-dresser suggests that their cross-dressing behavior is habitual and may be taken to mean that the person identifies as transgender. The term cross-dresser should therefore be used with care to avoid causing misunderstanding or offense.
Other meanings of the term
A new meaning for the term “cross-dressing” has appeared in the African-American community, where it is used to refer to wearing two different name brands of clothing (or sports team logos) simultaneously. For example, wearing both a Tommy Hilfiger hat and FUBU jacket might be referred to as “cross-dressing.” This use of the term is exclusively negative. While far removed from the original meaning, this usage is increasingly common and can lead to confusion among those used to more traditional meanings of the term.
The term “cross-dressing” is also used in debate, as a rhetorical device to couch your argument in your opponent’s terms, making you appear more cooperative and your argument more difficult to refute.
Varieties of cross-dressing
There are many different kinds of cross-dressing, and many different reasons why an individual might engage in cross-dressing behavior.
Some people cross-dress as a matter of comfort or style. They have a preference towards clothing which is only marketed to or associated with the opposite sex. In this case, a person’s cross-dressing may or may not be visible to other people.
Some people cross-dress in order to shock others or challenge social norms.
Both men and women may cross-dress in order to disguise their true identity. Historically, some women have cross-dressed in order to take up male-dominated or male-exclusive professions, such as military service. Conversely, some men have cross-dressed in order to escape from mandatory military service.
Single-sex theatrical troupes often have some performers cross-dress in order to play roles written for members of the opposite sex. Cross-dressing, particularly the depiction of males wearing dresses, is often used for comic effect onstage and onscreen.
Drag is a special form of performance art based on cross-dressing. A drag queen is a male-bodied person who performs as an exaggeratedly feminine character, in an elaborate costume usually consisting of a gaudy dress and high-heeled shoes, heavy makeup, and a large wig. A drag queen may imitate famous female film or pop-music stars
A drag king is the counterpart of the drag queen â€” a female-bodied person who adopts an exaggerated masculine persona in performance or who imitates a male film or pop-music star. Some female-bodied people undergoing gender reassignment therapy also self-identify as drag kings, although this use of “drag king” is considered inaccurate by some.
Transgender people who are undergoing or have undergone gender reassignment therapy are usually not regarded as cross-dressing. Namely, a transgender who has completed gender reassignment surgery is certainly not considered cross-dressing, unless they were to wear clothes of the gender opposite of what they have transitioned to. Pre-operative transgenders may be considered similarly.
A transected fetishist is a person (typically a heterosexual male) who cross-dresses as part of a sexual fetish.
The term under dressing is used by male cross-dressers to describe wearing female undergarments under their male clothes. The famous low-budget filmmaker Edward D. Wood, Jr. said he often wore women’s underwear under his military uniform during World War II.
Some people who cross-dress may endeavor to project a complete impression of belonging to another gender, down to mannerisms, speech patterns, and emulation of sexual characteristics. This is referred to as passing or “trying to pass” depending how successful the person is. An observer who sees through the cross-dresser’s attempt to pass is said to have read them. There are books and magazines on how a man may look more like a woman.
Sometimes either person of a heterosexual couple would wear it to arouse the other for example a Male would wear skirts or lingerie or the Female would wear boxers or other male clothing. (See also forced feminization)
Others may choose to take a mixed approach, adopting some feminine traits and some masculine traits in their appearance. For instance, a man might wear both a dress and a beard. This is sometimes known as genderfuck. Finally, for some the motivation for cross-dressing is to undermine the idea that any article of clothing is “only for men” or “only for women.” These people may broadly mix clothing from both genders, in a practice called freestyle (see Men in skirts).
The actual determination of cross-dressing is largely socially constructed. For example, in Western society, trousers have been adopted for wear by women, and is not regarded as cross-dressing. In cultures where men have traditionally worn skirt-like garments such as the kilt or sarong these are not seen as female clothing, and wearing them is not seen as cross-dressing for men. As societies are becoming more global in nature, both men and women are adopting styles of dress associated with other cultures.
It was once taboo in Western society for women to wear clothes traditionally associated with men. Cross dressing is specifically cited as an “abomination” in the Bible in the book of Deuteronomy This is no longer the case and Western women are often seen wearing trousers, ties, and men’s hats. Nevertheless, many cultures around the world still prohibit women from wearing trousers or other traditionally male clothing.
In most parts of the world it remains socially frowned upon for men to wear clothes traditionally associated with women, although such clothes are accepted in certain traditional contexts (e.g. the Scottish kilt). Attempts are occasionally made, e.g. by fashion designers, to promote the acceptance of skirts as everyday wear for men. Cross-dressers have complained that society permits women to wear pants or jeans and other masculine clothing, while condemning any man who wants to wear female clothing.
While most cross-dressers dress as modern women, there are some who are involved in subcultures that involve dressing as little girls or in vintage clothing. Some such men have written that they enjoy dressing as feminine as possible, so they will wear frilly dresses with lace and ribbons, as well as multiple petticoats, corsets, girdles and/or garter belts with nylon stockings.
Male cross-dressers often begin wearing female clothing as children, using the clothes of a sister, mother, or female friend. If they cross-dress secretly and are discovered, especially by a parent, they will be confronted and told to stop, unless the parent lets them do it. Some mothers have said they allowed their male children to cross-dress and, in many cases, the child stopped when they became older. It appears that when boys are forbidden to cross-dress, they will try to stop, only to resume doing it later. The same pattern often continues into adulthood, where there may be confrontations with girlfriends or wives. Married cross-dressers will experience considerable anxiety and guilt if their spouse objects to their behavior. Cross-dressers may become obsessive and/or compulsive in their behavior, if not actually addicted to wearing female clothing. Some have periodically disposed of all their female clothing, a practice called “purging,” only to start another collection later.
Did you read that? Purging! No purging! I don’t want to hear of anyone purging. I have heard too many stories from CD’s that they throw away all their beautiful clothing in order to be normal again. So what is normal?? Normal is a word that is used to try and cover up what people fear. When people say to ‘be normal’ – they don’t want you to express yourself because they fear what you express.
Me and Mistress Carmen will see you tonight at the 8 pm EST chat. Be dressed for tonight, if you can, and let’s all hear your stories! – xoxox Ms Cecilia
“When people say to â€˜be normalâ€™ – they donâ€™t want you to express yourself because they fear what you express.”
Absolutely true, Ms C! In fact, when people want you to be or do anything, even if they present it in the kindest of ways, the motivation behind it is almost always so that THEY will feel better… or safer, or more acceptable, or whatever it is they fear the loss of.
There is so much growth potential in being a person who crossdresses and/or loving one who does. Purging, and other attempts at trying to “be normal,” stunts that growth.
So, for what it’s worth, I’m with Ms C when it comes to purging. Rearrange your closet, if you must, but NO PURGING!
Thanks Ms V! 😉
I also very much enjoyed the conversation Wednesday night not to mention being on Ms Cecilia’s blog! Society so much likes to pigeonhole and/or label all of us. It is up to us to question sociey’s assumptions particularly about gender roles. It does take time, but it does get better for all of us.
Awww.. and you looked so pretty in that picture, and so happy! Keep on doing what you’re doing and being a positive role model! – Ms C